You are never single. You are always in a relationship with yourself.
Vex King
Dear friends and fellow bloggers,
Have you taken a second to write down the things you wish you had known sooner? Have you reflected on the choices that brought you to this moment? Recently, I did just that. I finally sat down and wrote out 6 things I wish I had learned sooner. Check them out below and comment with your thoughts.
Love does not conquer all.
This one hit hard for me. Looking back at my past choices in relationships; I realized that I believed love was all we needed. If we loved each other, we could accomplish and conquer any obstacle. But that isn’t true. Relationships require so much more than love. They require a lot of work, shared values, respect, shared goals and so many more things than just love. I would have saved myself a lot of heartbreak if I had known that sooner.
It takes tremendous courage and bravery to leave a relationship that is no longer working for you. It’s easier to stay with the familiar.
Letting go of relationship that is no longer working for you is so hard. The routines, the security, the level of certainty that comes with it make it that much harder. I recently let go of an important friendship in my life. It was one of the most terrifying things I have done this year. Not knowing what was going to happen, feeling like the uncertainty would crush me but I knew I could no longer stay. That relationship had served its purpose and ran its course. It was time to let go so something new could bloom.
No one pays attention to your mistakes or insecurities as much as you do.
No one is watching. No one is paying attention as closely as we think they are. For the longest time, I didn’t wear crop tops at the gym because I feared what people would think of me. Maybe they would say I didn’t have the body for a crop top, or that I should cover my cellulite with pants… the day I decided to wear the outfit was the day that I knew no one was watching me. I felt free.
Your belief system is everything. Your thoughts drive your emotions, and your emotions drive your behavior.
I am still learning to integrate this into my life. As a naturally anxious person, I tend to let my emotions and thoughts run wild with no base or evidence to them. There are days where it is easier to calm my thoughts and to question what I am thinking is true or not. But some days, it’s not so easy and I have come to realize it’s okay to ask for reassurance. Its okay to ask for what I need.
I’ve observed and learned that we are very quick to question the truth but rarely, if ever, do we question if what we believe about ourselves is true. We get so used to hearing our own limiting beliefs that we can’t identify that they are only a thought and perceived barrier because after so long we trick our brains into thinking they are true. But just because we have been telling ourselves the same story for a long time, doesn’t mean we can’t change the narrative. We can always change the story.
It is never to late to start again. You are not too old to start over.
I feel like once people hit a certain age in their life, they realize how much time is left and decide to stay the same instead of taking the risk to start again. The beauty about everyday being a new day, is a chance to make a different choice. To decide differently if you are unhappy.
When you accept people as they are, not as you wish them to be, your choices become clear.
It’s important to meet people where they are not where you wish or hope them to be in the future. Especially in our romantic relationships, it would be so much easier on the heart if we stopped idolizing people, putting them on pedestals, and hoping that they might choose us.
The list could go on but ultimately these are the ones that I am trying too consciously be aware of daily. You probably hear this all the time, but life is too short to not chase after the things you want. Its too short not to be honest about who you are and what you want. Those that don’t accept that do not belong in your life. Let those people go.
Until next time,
Much love
T
Title inspo: All I know so far by Pink.
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